What This Body Needs
June 15, 2016
Advice for Big Issues, Advice for Small Issues
June 22, 2016


I have this pet peeve. I hate it when people post pictures of their kids, and either the caption or the comments are all, “Watch out, girls! He’s going to be a ladykiller in no time!” or “Daddy better get his shotgun!” or “What a heartbreaker!” or similar.

I mean, I’m talking 3 month old babies getting comments like this.

And listen, I get super triggered at the idea that a man’s highest aspiration should be to kill ladies, or that a woman needs to be protected from her own sovereign sexual choices by her father.

But I also get super triggered that that these comments are so commonplace as to not even seem unfitting.

Perhaps people don’t know other compliments they can give.

So here are my favorites, appropriate for all ages and all gender expressions. (And, in fact, I’d love for you to yell “TEETH!!” at a fully grown adult and report back what happens 🙂 )

  • It makes my heart so happy to see these pictures!
  • I love seeing your face.
  • What a beam of sunshine.
  • That color is dynamite on you!
  • You are the best!
  • What a happy picture!
  • He is the sweetest and brightest light!
  • He is a dreamy little lovebug
  • I love you so much!
  • Motherhood gives you such a glow.
  • You are so radiant!
  • the BEST!
  • He’s so cute/fluffy/adorable/lovable I’m gonna die!
  • I love her so much
  • Teeth!
  • Now it’s a happier Sunday after seeing this picture!
  • I love my [insert zodiac sign here] friend!!
  • This picture makes me so happy! If I had a tail, I’d be wagging it!
  • I think you’re swell.
  • I love that you know you’re tremendous and capable of amazing things.
  • What’s the story, Morning Glory?
  • HappyThankYouMorePlease
  • This picture is clearing my acne and saving my life.
  • #IWokeUpLikeDis
  • “Though she be but little, she is fierce!” or some other Shakespearean compliment
  • You’re every nice word I can think of.
  • I’m so glad we incarnated together.
  • I never get tired of seeing you
  • “Luna, my love, if you should feel any burgeoning talent today — perhaps an unexpected urge to sing opera or to declaim in Mermish — do not repress it! You may have been gifted by the Gernumblies!” or other Luna Lovegood-inspired compliments
  • What a wonderful blessing you have there!
  • Babies are such a nice way to start people.
  • I love your courage and your stubbornness.
  • Welcome to the world, little one.
  • Your smile is so bright I could grind up your teeth and make glitter! (full disclosure: a zombie said this to me at a haunted house one night and it was awesome but maybe more appropriate for an older crowd)
  • You’re so expressive.
  • That girrrrrrrrrrrl… is gonna BE someBODY someDAY! (my second grade teacher told my mom this about me, and my mom made me write it at the top of all my tests when I was in high school)
  • You light up the room!
  • You’re the life of the party!
  • You are love and beauty wrapped in one.
  • I love you.
  • I love you.
  • I love you. Just as you are.
  • I love you.
  • I love you.
  • I love you.