You know what my favorite sound to hear during a coaching session is?
And not just any giggle: I mean a blushing, bashful giggle. The kind you make when someone is successfully flirting with you and you’re not quite sure how to react.
(although, for the record, I am hilarious and all of my jokes are funny, whether I’m flirting with you or not.)
But that little laugh is a signal to me that I’m on the right track, like I’ve figured out just how to fan the embers of a desire you’ve long kept under wraps.
And it tells me I’m bringing you into unaccustomed space.
Aren’t playful flirting and having a crush some of the most exhilarating feelings in the world? Your body reacts whether or not your mind is on board or whether or not the thing you want is possible.
Your body is reacting to permission, to encouragement, to possibility.
And when you flirt, it’s a celebration of you fully embodying yourself, your power, and your pleasure. You don’t have to flirt with an endgame, you can just flirt to bring a different energy to your life.
Most often, this giggle comes up when I tell someone to put themselves first and then make a big deal about how indulgent I want them to be.
For example, I made a client list to me some pleasurable things she enjoys doing. She could only list two, but I think we can get more as she thinks about it more often.
Then I told her that I want her to make at least 3 30-minute appointments this week to do something pleasurable for no other reason than the fact that she enjoys it. I said, “If the fate of the free world depended on you thoroughly, exclusively enjoying yourself for 90 minutes this week, would we make it?” And that’s when she giggled.
Eventually, I want her making time for pleasure every. single. day. I want her to have a running list of all the things that bring her pleasure, so that at any moment, if the world needed her to enjoy herself in order to keep the sun from exploding (or something), she’d be ready to save us all.
Because even though my surface goal is pleasure, the benefits of pleasure are far-reaching and profound.
Now, if I were to ask you to make me a list of all the pleasurable activities you like to do, how many could you list? 1? 5? 10? 20? a month’s worth?
Start writing. Do it every day. Post up your ideas. Talk to you spouse, kids, friends, family, coworkers to get ideas. Be realistic, be farfetched. Imagine. Play. Make writing Pleasure Inventories one of your pleasurable activities.
And be ready for me to come recruit you to save the world.