I’ve been reading a delightful book called Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts. Purchase it. It’s amazing. And I read it all in a sassy voice, which makes it all the more enjoyable.
The main point of this book is to get women to serve themselves first, and trust that the pleasure a woman gives to herself will amplify the pleasure experience of everyone in her realm. I believe this wholeheartedly, and I can see the truth in that statement every day.
If you didn’t know, this past Friday/Saturday was the time of a Full Moon in Sagittarius, and also a lunar eclipse. According to my girl KV, this season of eclipses means that paradigms are trying to fall away, obviously preceded by chaos and discomfort.
But here’s the main paradigm I want to have fall away. Think of the biblical story of Adam and Eve. As the logic goes, Eve surrenders to her desire and eats an apple. Adam and Eve get cast out of Paradise. And humans spend the rest of eternity trying to get back in. Am I right?
I’ve seen this struggle to get back to Paradise take two main forms:
This manifests in food when you eat a restrictive, unenjoyable diet. It manifests if you exercise using a body movement you don’t enjoy. It manifests in relationships, if you stay in an unfulfilling or abusive relationship because you don’t think you can do better. It manifests in body image, when you look at the mirror and hatefully insult your reflection. It manifests in jobs, when you stay in a job you hate, don’t volunteer for promotions or projects you want, and think that’s your lot in life.
This also manifests in food and eating: the virtuous health or restrictive eater counts calories and weighs his/herself every day expecting to drop pounds. It can manifest in exercise: when you spend hours on gym machines and then reward yourself by enjoying a treat. It can manifest in jobs, where you “pay your dues” for years in order to enjoy retirement. It manifests in relationships, especially when parents sacrifice their own time for their kids, or when you give up your life for the partnership.
Be aware of these traps. You can do better. And you deserve better. You are worthy. You don’t need to punish yourself. You don’t need to sacrifice in order to be rewarded. Try pleasure on instead of sacrifice and self-flagellation. See what changes.
Mama Gena makes the following observation about children,
Pleasure is more important than food. Pleasure consumes a child’s day. Pleasure is not frivolous. It guides, instructs, unfolds creativity, educates. Learning through pleasure, through fun, is a more deeply integrated experience than learning by rote or under pressure.
If you want to give, give freely. And when you receive, receive freely. Giving, receiving, and pleasure aren’t as simple as a two way street where you want things to be equal. Think bigger.
Give until your heart is full. And receive until you think it’s going to overflow. Enjoy. Savor. Love.