I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought of posts for this site, only to let the ideas fly away, or scrap them mid-process.
One thing I’ve been studying over the past year is the idea that you are Enough, right now. So many people put requirements on future happiness or future action. I’ll do it when I’m skinnier, I’ll love my body after I’ve lost 10 pounds, I’ll be happy once I get a boyfriend. Et cetera.
But we all know that’s not absolutely true. None of those things are absolutely true. You could probably do it now. You can love your body now. You can be happy now. You want to feel a certain way, and you’re putting a circumstance on it. You’re chasing a feeling.
We’ve heard the adage that it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey. And that’s largely true, but the other part of that truth is that the process informs the destination. If you want to be happy in the future, your best bet is to start being happy now, and have it continue and grow when you’re with a new lover, or when you lose weight. Or maybe none of that will happen, and you’ll still be happy, you’ll still be feeling the sensation. You can access those feelings now. It’s just about grabbing a handhold.
One way to play with this is to realize that the most common question people ask is, “What has to happen for me to feel X?” It’s totally understandable how we arrive at that question, but it leads to a trap where you’re at the mercy of conditions and circumstances. So be aware of that question, but stop asking it, because it puts the power outside of your abilities.
Instead, start asking, “What can I do to feel X?” or “Who do I need to be to feel X?” Those are in the present, complete with actions you can take right now to access the feeling. And you can keep going with it, giving yourself more options to invite the feeling into your space.
Now, when I read what I’ve just written, my logical self gets it. And for most feelings, I can get there. But the one that keeps eluding me, personally, is the feeling of “Ready.” Somehow, I keep looking for this outside of myself. And most of the time, the concept of Ready goes hand in hand with the concept of Authority, and the concept of Qualifications. And for me, the concept of Perfection usually sneaks in and plays with my brain a little bit.
And the result is an empty blog 🙂
So, let’s play. Who do I need to be to feel Ready?
– A Real Health Coach. With success stories and millions of dollars that validate my profession.
** ooh you sneaky monster, you slid that circumstance in so fast I barely caught it. **
– Ok. So I need to be a Real Health Coach. period. What are some other qualities associated with that? Maybe one of them will be easier to access.
:: capable :: knowledgable :: open-minded :: sovereign :: has answers :: experienced :: kindness :: serenity ::
What is one thing I can do to access these feelings?
– As Mark says, just do one. Just post once. Have the first one done. Maybe the next one is easier.
The only way out is through 🙂